She was worn thin as rice paper. She knew her name. She knew she did not care for mustard, reality TV, or spiders. She knew how to fry apple fritter pancakes, dissect literature, and read a cat’s body language. She knew all the static things about herself. Knew how she could be pushed. How and if she would push back. She did not know, did not remember, where she was going, why, or wherefore. It was wearing her down. Stasis was not enough. She put one foot in front of the other and found too much in common with ‘Once More with Feeling’. Enough that she could not listen to ‘Going Through the Motions’ without facing that she lost a part of herself somewhere.
Some tiny gear was missing and it slowed the rest of her down. It had been happening for years. There was no sudden realization that she was a robot, no old woman on the side of the highway with a magic cloak, and no villain to come ruin her life and give her a purpose in getting it all back. The only villain was indecision, but she would not pick up her sword and fight him. She could trudge down a lot of paths. But no book caught her eye. She had good taste in books. She did not settle for whatever was popular that week. She knew her tastes… and knew she may be looking for something that did not exist. Then again.
She got through another day. And another. She did not blow away. She did not wear through. She put one foot in front of the other over and over. She waited, but she never stopped looking. One day she’d find what she’d lost. Whether someone else had picked it up, or she’d left it in her closet and forgotten about it. She’d find it. She just had to get there.
My friend Bek is a thief! She used this first line to write “Just Keep Working” on her blog.