Whose Line: Wait, What?

“You have a flair for adding a fanciful element to any story,” Avery read.

Roz looked up, her chopsticks halfway to her lips, and her eyes wide. “You have a psychic fortune cookie fortune.”

“You have a job in the department of redundancy department,” Nan quipped.

Roz pointed with her chopsticks. “Avery writes fantasy stories even when she is trying to write journalism articles.” She noticed she still had food on her chopsticks and ate it. “Psychic cookie.”

“Well,” Avery said, “It does seem more apt than your fortune.”

Roz glared. “If you touch that I will fill your ears with mayonnaise.”

Nan blinked at Roz. “That was your fortune? Your cookie threatened you with mayonnaise over a non specified object?”

Roz reached down and picked up Leroy. “I was talking to Avery’s cat. He wants my kung pao.”

Leroy squirmed and Roz tossed him across the kitchen where he landed in a huff and began washing his hind quarters as if offended that someone would mention mayonnaise and his ears in the same sentence.”

“Then what was your fortune?” Nan asked. She collected the napkins and chopstick wrappers and put them in the take out bag.

“You will meet a new friend.” Roz shrugged and boxed up her left over kung pao.

“Too soon to see if it is psychic,” Nan decided.

“It’s Roz, she doesn’t make friends. She gets recruits or minions.” Avery took pity on Leroy and put her plate on the floor so he could lick up the scraps.

Roz slammed her fist on the table. “Damn you for Villains, who are you!?”

“Was I the Evil assistant, or the head minion?” Avery asked Nan.

“Ginger, you’re the assistant. I’m the minion.” Nan took the plate from Leroy, gathered up all the trash, and tossed it into the kitchen can.

We could visit him after dinner, you and I,” Avery suggested to Nan with a flutter of her eyelashes.

“Wait, what?” asked Roz.

“Avery, we couldn’t do that…” Nan touched her right hand to her throat.

“I missed something, didn’t I?” Roz asked the cat. Leroy, still irked about the mayonnaise comment sauntered out of the room with a tail flick that suggested Roz did miss something and that the ignorant mortal may as well get used to it as the higher life forms were never going to explain.

Nan and Avery laughed. Avery regained her gravitas. “We are of course talking about the hero you have imprisoned in your closet.”

“You leave Dr. Pepper alone.” Roz scowled. “You do not have my permission to abuse prisoners.” She seized the unused set of chopsticks and brandished them at each of her roommates in turn. “Minion, fetch me Pandemic, I wish to fight the legions of supernatural diseases. Assistant, make sure the dark furred creature is not performing unspeakable acts upon my footwear.”

“Of course Dread Lord.” Avery and Nan responded in unison and bowed. Roz sat back regally in her chair and tapped her foot. It would never due for the Dread Lord of the Isle to seem patient. “And get me a glass of water!” She thought about that for a moment. “Please,” she added.


The lines in italics were suggested by readers. The first, from ApprenticeNeverMaster, the second from FliptheOtter, and the third by Kathryn. If you have lines you would like to challenge me to put in a story, leave them in the comments. If you want to know more about this project, check the Whose Line page.


2 thoughts on “Whose Line: Wait, What?

  1. Neekers and I just had a wonderful laugh reading through this. 🙂

    Also, as you have used one of my sentences, I bequeath you with: “If you hold it upside down it kind of looks like an iguana.”

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